I was actually somewhat excited to go to the US Embassy and see what it was all about. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it is a symptom of the last vestiges of patriotism that haven’t been beaten out of me yet? In any event, I had two expectations, both of which were easily met:

1. The processes and procedures for getting a new passport would be simple and straightforward
2. …assuming I didn’t drown in a pit of boredom and bureaucracy first.

I assume I am not the first, or thousandth, or hundred-thousandth citizen to lose a passport in a foreign country. And certainly the US doesn’t want to leave its people stranded. So I assumed it wouldn’t be too much trouble to get a new one. But even still, overhearing the business of others relayed over loudspeakers from microphones behind bulletproof glass, I was impressed at how easy they were making it. At one point, to verify a man’s residency in the US, she asked him a series of questions that included his college’s school colors.  One man even got a $1200 plane ticket to Nashville and $500 in traveling cash because he didn’t have any way to get home. (He has to pay all the money back, of course.)

Upon hearing the transactions of the twenty people before me, my single concern was that I, in fact, have no idea what my college’s colors are. I just looked it up: Portland State’s colors are forest green and white. Had I been asked, I was prepared to proffer my math major as proof that I was too nerdy (i.e. too cool) to attend sporting events and, thus, couldn’t possibly know the school’s colors.

When it came to be my turn, I was expecting a pretty painless procedure. Generally you have to make an appointment, but if you get there between 8am and 11am, you can get an “emergency visit”. I arrived around 10:30 and my name was dutifully written on the roster underneath the appointments. Then I waited. I read old Times, Newsweeks, Wireds, and other things. I had brought a book and a newspaper, but they make you check your bag (a store 50 feet away provides this convenient “service” for only about US$3) and I had forgotten to take any reading materials with me. At 1pm and with the waiting room essentially cleared, I finally knocked on a window and asked if they had forgotten about me. The woman, who had earlier been exceedingly friendly to everyone, seemed annoyed that I had torn her from her lunch (something so unappetizing, it could only be eaten in a government building). She told me to come back Monday, but earlier next time. I tried to explain that I had arrived earlier, at 10:30am in fact, some 2.5 hours ago. She told me to come back Monday, but earlier next time. Feeling defeated, I left without further argument.